Social Security

A young South-East London girl went down to the Social Security office to get her family allowance.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten." she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne,"
she answered.
"They're all named Wayne?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call "Wayne" and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'Wayne, come and eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their surname."

The merry go round of success

At age 4, success is.....................not peeing your pants.
At age 12, success is.....................having friends.
At age 20, success is.....................having sex.
At age 35, success is.....................making money.
At age 60, success is.....................having sex.
At age 70, success is.....................having friends.
At age 80, success is.....................not peeing your pants.

Hungry Flower

Don't copy if you can't paste

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience He said "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"


The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added "And that woman was my mother" Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top IT manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife". The wife went wild with shock and rage.

Standing there for 30 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out ".... and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story:

Don't copy if you can't paste! ......